Have you been dying to know what the secret is to having more than one child, while still managing to keep the dregs of your sanity?
Let me tell you.
Lean in a little closer, I don’t want you to miss it.
The big secret is this…
You have another baby and then… You survive.
Because well, you kind of have to.
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but that really is all that there is to it*.
* To be clear I hope that it’s obvious that I am not making light of how difficult it can be to conceive a baby or to adopt one. That is definitely not my intention.
It’s been something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been chatting to so many Moms recently and this whole question of “I have one baby, should I have another one?” or “I only have one and it’s non stop, like NON STOP” comes up quicker than the regrowth of my hair. All of those conversations inevitably end with “I don’t know how you do it with three kids”.
This obviously means that somehow, somewhere they think that I’m actually doing it. Actually coping. But that’s a whole other story for another time.
What I do want to talk about is that when I had Kyla, I felt like EVERYTHING was hectic! When she slept I didn’t sleep – I had stuff to do (that mostly involved doing nothing but stressing about everything). Bath time was hectic, feeding time was hectic, bed time was a bloody nightmare and I often felt totally overwhelmed with life. If I’d had a choice, we wouldn’t have had another baby for a long time.
The Lord had other plans for us though. Because after just 3 months of not being pregnant, there I was, clinging to the toilet with all day sickness every day until Riya popped out of my tummy.
Suddenly we had two to contend with. We could no longer hand the baby over while the other one took a “break” – there was no break. Ever. It was crazy. The sleepless nights, managing the different demands of toddler and that of a baby, the arguments with Seth about whose turn it was to do just about everything, the crying – both them and me.
Dark days those were.
Is this making you want to have another baby yet? No? OK, just bear with me for a second.
I look at my kids now and I would literally do it all over again! Every single thing – exactly the way it was. Except I would have thrown the “Baby Sense” out the window before reading it and went with my Mommy sense instead (let’s not even get into how I used to try and force Kyla to sleep every time she had been awake for more than 40 minutes because that’s what the book told me to do – stupid huh?!).
But above all other reasons that I can give you to have another child, here’s the most important one…
They freaking love the heck out of each other. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. The way they play together, the way the girls wait for Knox to wake up and then cover his face with kisses while he tries to protest, the way they encourage each other and teach each other how to put other people first – to share a little bit more, to care a little bit more, to love a little bit more. Sure, they fight. But they also learn how to talk it out and forgive. All important little life lessons.
And let’s be honest here (because I’m all about that) while they are busy entertaining each other, you can have that much needed cup of hot tea or coffee (or tall glass of wine – whatever floats your boat) because now YOU don’t have to be the entertainment!
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