You’re Doing A Great Job

It’s not often that I am affected by the things that people say to me or about me.  Not any more anyway (shout out to high school Cindy – you were such a sucker).  I tend to take everything with a pinch of salt nowadays especially with this whole parenting gig.  And also I don’t need other people telling me who or what I am, to know who I am, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, we were saying goodbye to Aunty Caron and Ma on Monday night (who are currently on their way to New Zealand) and as we parted she said, “You’re doing a great job – being a Mommy to your babies”.  As usual I brushed of the statement with a lame attempt of a trying to be funny comeback, “well you should check in next year and see if they are all still alive”.  You see, as much as I don’t let negative things affect me, I have this tendency to not really let compliments hit home either.  You know the “you look lovely today” gets the response of “thanks but you should see how much make-up I’m wearing – clowns are jealous” or “Wow, I can’t believe you’ve had 3 kids, you’re looking so thin” gets “thanks, but you should see the 10 ‘spanks pants’ I’m wearing under these clothes, I can hardly breathe”.  Never just a thank you and a moment of taking in the compliment.

But this time the words resonated with me without me really realising how much I needed to hear them.  Maybe it’s because I know that she knows how it is with them now that she’s been here with us for the last couple of weeks or maybe it’s because as a Mom (or Dad, or caregiver), you actually just need to hear them every now and then.

The main problem is that your kids can’t tell you.  Well mine can, but they choose not too.  And despite that – we need to hear it.  Because, no matter what you are thinking, you are not failing at being a Mom.  You’re not.  Unless you don’t buckle your child into a car seat – that is a super no no.

So here is me telling you that you are doing a great job.  For reals!  Well done to you Mom (or Dad). You are the superstar that your kids look up to and without being able to say it, are so grateful to you for bathing them, for feeding them, for clothing them, for making juice bottles, for making milk bottles, for making snacks, for waking up in the early hours of the morning, for waking up again minutes later for your alarm, for going to work to provide for them, for staying home to look after them, for loving them, for saying that you are sorry when you over react, for disciplining them even when it’s hard, for teaching them, for sitting up with them when they are sick, for cleaning up their bodily fluids and stuff, for being there for them when they need you and being there for them even when they don’t know they need you.

You!  You right there…  Yes you, Mom or Dad or caregiver of precious children.  You are doing a great job.

Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

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12 thoughts on “You’re Doing A Great Job

  1. Thank you! For some reason today of all days is one I needed the reminder that even though I don’t do ALL the parenting, I’m still his mom and I do my best. God works in mysterious ways!

    We can be hard on ourselves as people in all aspects of our lives but we need to remember to love and appreciate ourselves. Those three gorgeous kids are lucky to have you and your husband.

    • It’s a pleasure, I’m so glad that you got to see this! It’s so funny/sad that we all feel the same way but hardly ever get the chance to tell each other that we’re doing well.

  2. Hi Cindy, warm fuzzy feeling while reading and a good ol laugh. Thanks for the reminder that we are doing a good job. Especially when my 14 year old is now cleaning up her own “bodily fluids and stuffs”.
    Crossed that off my list of things to teach her 🙂 Hmmm I think I need to have a look at my mom’s list.

  3. Recently and unexpectedly found out I am expecting my 3rd child. (My 2nd will only be 2 in November and this baby is due in early March). It was really quite a shocker, and I was astounded at my disappointment at the fact that I would be having another baby so soon. My almost 2 year old is in the process of weaning of the breast, she would be off nappies soon, and not long after that, she would be out of my bed, yay me! Not so yay…now I have to start all from over again lol. Anyway, I told nobody for a while, trying to get used to the idea and take comfort in my blessings rather than seeming ungrateful! …… once I broke the news, I got the nicest, most welcomed compliments ever from friends that actually made me feel so appreciated by my kids, even though it hadnt come from them directly. “We are so so happy for you Fatima, you’re such a good mother, you really are. Your kids are blessed to have you as their mum”. I had no idea they think these nice things of me! Even writing this, it feels weird to say something like that about myself, cos always we it doesnt always seem that awesome to ourselves.

    We read your blog and we try to sympthasize as much as we can when your kids are sick/or when you are sick and have to take care of 3 gorgeous little beings. We try because we know what it is like as we are all mommies. But the truth is we only see the top coating of what really goes on in your home. You tell us these things, you try and share with us to the best of your ability but we don’t get to experience it. We see pictures of a beautiful family, well dressed, well looked after, well fed and happy kids, and somedays its easy, other days its not so easy. You’re a fantastic mom, to us it always looks easy because you’re such an awesome mommy!! So a fat well done to you too!! (and your support system, I kow you’re so grateful to them too)

    Anyhoo, this came out longer thatn I menat for it to be lol, what I was trying to say is I agree, and we acknowledge all compliments its just cos we mommies to the most beautiful beings ever, we tend pick out the most meaningful compliments 🙂

    Awesome post!

    • Firstly – CONGRATS! It’s such super news, even though it’s crazy scary! You’ll be awesome, I’m sure of it.

      Secondly, thanks so much. What you said is so true and I truly appreciate your view on this and your lovely compliments! I won’t even follow it up with trying to tone them down as I would usually do and instead I’ll own it – thank you!

  4. Lol, I love you my friend xx you’re a fab mom. And you and I both suck at taking compliments… And I don’t give them either… I will send you a cool post you should read about that sort of.

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