Is It Even Possible To Be A Bully At 3 Years Old?


The other night while I was putting the girls to sleep, Riya had passed out with ease, but Kyla was a bit restless.  Suddenly she sat up and told me a little bit about her day.  This may seem normal to all you normal people but for us this is very and totally exceptional.  You see, I try my bestest to get every little bit of information out of them about their day when I get home but I always get the same response – either “fine” or “me no remember”.  Seriously?  You don’t remember what you ate for lunch while I can still see the remnants on your T-Shirt, but you can remember that a couple of days ago I promised that you could have a bite of a chocolate next time I had one.  When you suffer with a serious case of FOMO like I do, you will understand why I want to flip out every time they give me this response.  Anyway, back to the real story here.

Her story went a little something like this, “When me at school today, me play outside then me go into inside time.  When me in there ‘Sur-rage’ fight with me.  He cama (came to) me and smack me in my face!”  Not sure where to go with this information I asked a little bit more about it, “Did you tell your teacher?” “Yes, me tella teacher and she make ‘Sur-rage’ say sorry and giva me a hug and a kiss.  No me wanta a kiss!  Me wipe my eyes and me tears with my top.  Was real, real sore.”

This raised two real concerns for me –

  • I really, really need to teach her to say “I”.
  • If I ever get my hands on this little sewerage…

We told Kyla’s teacher about it who then spoke to the class again about being friends and not hurting each other.  Great.

I know that all that we could really do is to tell the teacher.  But if you know Kyla, you will know how much this will have shaken her already crumbling confidence in going to school at all – or for talking to any other child ever again for that matter.  Thankfully she has made a friend named “Paige” and another little girl whose name I have no idea how to say.

Seth and I have so many visions of what we would do to this kid, besides a good smack on the bottom or some serious thinking time in the naughty corner for a couple of hours.  We discussed them at length in the car this morning.  Let’s just say it’s a good thing I’m not a teacher…

Now, I know that kids are kids but Seth isn’t as convinced.  He is ready to give this kid a good talking to and possibly a whack upside the head.  I think there is a degree to which they need to sort out their own problems and learn how to deal with each other, but if it happens again I may not be so understanding and will maybe even consider unleashing the husband on him.

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9 thoughts on “Is It Even Possible To Be A Bully At 3 Years Old?

  1. Shame, that sucks… Poor Kylakie… I’m concerned about where a 3 yr old learn this behavior. There was a little snot at our one moms group, who beat Elijah up twice…. And I had to hold it in, or I’d have smacked him lank hard…. But the mother wasn’t phased… Which tells me it’s not a unusual occurrence. Which is worrying. Maybe you can talk to the kids mother?

  2. Flippin heck! The teacher should have told you about it in an incesedent report so that you were at least prepared for it should she mention it!! Disgusting behaviour!

  3. o dear…. my son is only 6.5months and he is already so strong that he regularly makes other kids cry, when he goes over to say hi. Its so embarrassing as a mom, but he really means no harm, he just doesnt know his strength and so can push a kid over when he just wants to touch their face hello. HE is always shocked when the other kid cries. really hope he does not become a bully.

    • I think if you are aware of it and caution/reprimand him when you see it happening, it shouldn’t become a problem? I don’t know – parenting is so hard sometimes!

  4. Your story made me chuckle. 🙂 mostly cos you tell it in a funny way. It’s not funny to hear that kids have hurt your own child. 😦 But take heart: it’s not necessarily a bad behavior thing. Some kids take a little (a lot!) longer to learn appropriate behavior. Unprovoked hitting etc is never nice to receive but can just be that the child is still learning appropriate forms of communicating. Some kids take a lot longer, especially if they’re on one spectrum or another. Maybe it’s worth getting to know the parents first? I have a few friends with kids on the spectrum who’ve been on the receiving end of indignant and outraged parents who never stopped to find out the situation. It’s been enough to help me put my own indignation aside. Well, I thought it was enough. But God gave me Micah for our 4th and I’m guessing He felt I needed to learn firsthand with a hooligan of my own. It may just be Micah shoving Kyla at Sunday School or such like. Why? Even he has no clue. But we are working on it and praying it sinks in sooner rather than later!!!

  5. I am also all for them sorting there issues out but when a kid hurts my kid I turn into crazy lady!! Maybe just keep talking to her – if sewrage touches her again then let Seth handle it :))

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