The other day I decided to enquire on the most reliable source (Facebook obviously), on how often married couples go on the proverbial “date night”. The response was a little bit sad, a little bit shocking but actually quite expected…
Firstly, I must not have a lot of married friends or very little friends that felt like commenting. I would have loved to hear from so many more people. Secondly, it’s sad that so many people don’t do this anymore. I agree with my sister in law (Mia) who gives a very valid reason why connecting as a couple is so important – with or without children.
All that being said, do we do “date nights”? The not so surprising answer… Yes and no. We haven’t done one in far too long, at least 1 month or 2 ago. I can’t even lie to you and say that we do “home date nights” because that works out better being parents of younglings and can’t get out. Because actually, our evenings consist of reading and watching TV. So I have 2 problems:
- I find that now that I no longer dedicate my evenings to studying, I have a surplus of “time” to fill (I bet you are shocked by that statement). So I have now filled this time with reverting back to our old traditions or watching TV and falling asleep, or more recently reading The Hunger Games trilogy (which is amazing by the way). Let’s face facts though – after a very busy day of working and then looking after the girls, plus being pregnant we both just feel like blobbing in front of the TV and relaxing a bit and not having to do something. So why can’t I dedicate one night a week to my husband and ensuring that our relationship doesn’t turn into a situation of 2 friends living in a house or something worse.
- The second problem that I have is that I tell my husband that our “date life” is sucking and that we need to do something about it. He agrees. So I suggest what I think is a cool and reasonable solution and though he doesn’t openly say it, I can see on his face that he’s like, “Ja right. You want to do what? When? No thanks.”. Unfortunately for him, I will not give up and will proceed with my idea in any case.
In his defense, he will say that he is against the whole way to enforce the idea, but when I asked him how to make it more “us”, he just looked at me and said, “You know I’m not the type to take time and energy to make things pretty and put stuff into stuff”… Very explanatory, I know. To be honest, I think the original idea is great… For other people… But I have yet to figure out a way to make this a little less, “done” and “frilly” which does not appeal to Seth at all.
So what’s the idea?
Take a jar and have differently coloured, painted lolliepop/sucker sticks (already too much effort to paint and co-ordinate) with different ideas written on them. Pop them in a jar a pull one out when you want to do a date. Red sticks have more expensive dates on them that require planning on our part. Dark pink sticks have “at home” dates. Light Pink dates have things we can do away from home but are less expensive than the red and don’t require as much planning.
Sounds like you? Great – do it! I’ll let you know if I think of something with less effort, but if you can think of something – then let me know.
But in the meantime – here’s the challenge if you choose to accept it…
And no, this is not only for young couples or couples with young kids, it’s also for couples with experience (that’s nicer than saying old couples right?) and pretty much every other kind of couple out there. Despite our home circumstances I doubt that we give our spouse the time that we should. Let’s stop waiting for it to happen by itself and let’s do something. (I am assuming I am talking mostly to the wives here because men probs don’t read our blog).
So as from June, let’s commit to dating our husbands once a week (whether they know it officially or not). Who’s in? No pressure, but how awesome would it be if we kept each other accountable to doing this (feel free to share if you would rather do this with your own group of friends). How much better would our marriages become?!
Let me know if you’re in on the comments section below, and any thoughts, ideas or opinions are welcomed.
(I’ll also do a quick post on date ideas in the next week or so, because let’s face it, those are hard to think of, then we can all get set before 1 June).