Honeymoon Memories – Knysna (Wrong Turn)

Finally after spending one night at “home” to regroup and get ready for phase 2 of honeymoonness (the most scary, but better part of the trip as a whole), we were on our way to Kysna. This was a surprise, I thought Cindy would think it was awesome, but she had already had enough after Durban. But we went anyway, and she kindly pretended to be optimistic.  I was excited about this as Kysna is “nice, nuh”?!  (I’m sorry, I had to do it).  Despite an incessant amount of road blocks due to road works we made it to the dusty turn off before nightfall.  I was especially glad that it was light the more we went down the long, windy road.  This place was in the depths of what I would assume to be Knysna Forest.   Still in the optimistic phase (but still in shock from the musical toilet) I was mildly dubious as to what this place had to offer…

We finally made it to the gate and parked in front of the main house to meet the owner.  This went well and she told us of all the beautiful things we would be experiencing…  The toilets don’t flush (because you throw ash down instead – it’s like a long drop effect with a proper loo on the top of it…), there might be massive freaking rain spiders in the house (which we should just “brush” away with a feather duster – JA RIGHT!) and it’s possible that there are sometimes baboons (are you freaking kidding me?!).

We then made our way to our first room (we were spending a night in a different room each time to really “get the whole experience”…).  In order to get to get to our destination we had to open the gate to a field…  Which had 2 free roaming horses!  This time I was not as uneasy as Seth was.  SO we walk into the forest…  Down a path and get to what can only be described as a “tent-house”.

When you walk in you enter a kitchen area which is made from wood, then into a tented area – which is seriously like a camping tent – and then onto the balcony overlooking the stunning forest.  Oh and bath and toilet are out there…  On this balcony!  But rest assured – “no-one” can see you!

We decided to braai that first night and found that there was no charcoal…  So we thought we would investigate the “area” in order to buy some charcoal.  We got into the car and drove back down the windy road, but this time it was getting dark…  As we were driving we noticed a “shop” and as we pulled into the parking area a little brown boy appeared.  He was in fact a white boy who was so covered in dirt you would never say…  He smiled a weird smile at us and kind of laughed as we got out the car to go into the “shop”…  As we entered, there were about 100 farm workers all squashed in – they kind of made a pathway for us to get through to the front – to speak to the man and the woman behind the counter (who could have been married, or siblings…  Or both…).  We quickly mumbled something about charcoal and they said “Nee” and we left with the wheels spinning and dust in our trail. I nearly soiled myself.

It felt like we had just witnessed our own version of “Wrong Turn”!  Needless to say we were sufficiently freaked out and headed back to the room – which was still freaky but less so.  We made a fire without charcoal and hoped for the best.  We made gourmet boerie rolls with onions that we did in a pot on the fire (stupid idea!!  Never do that – it took like FOREVER!!!).  While we were braaing we enjoyed a beautiful sunset over the forest.  It was lovely. I dont know why I didn’t just make it with wood?! It’s not like there wasn’t an abundance of it in the forest!

Then it was time to go to sleep.  We locked up and rechecked  the locks and rechecked once more (can you tell we are South African?), then got into our tent area and zipped that right up.  We weren’t in bed long – maybe 30 minutes, before there was some hectic banging on the door.  Like scary banging!!!  We both looked at each other in fear, then Seth composed himself…  The banging continued….  Someone or something was trying to get into the front door!!  Oh my word.  I was pooping myself!  I actually cried – I was so scared.  I just kept saying “I want to go home” over and over and over!  Neither of us got out of bed or even dared to look at what it was outside the tent (the tent was not see through, but the front door was half glass!  We were too scared to look out and really see what it was!  Although looking back, it would have made the rest of the night easier to deal with).  Eventually we drifted off to sleep but only long after the banging ended (it lasted about 30 minutes or maybe a bit more). I would like to think that I would normally be brave in this type of situtaion, but I might have actually soiled myself here. I remeber the warm rush of blood to my brain. If I had to open the tent I would be in full view of the inbred creatures, so I thought “nay”, and preferred to rather wait for them to come in and kill us.  I am pretty sure it was baboons though.

The next day we kind of brushed it off and went back down the windy road to do some shopping so that we wouldn’t have to go out at night again…  When we go back we moved rooms (Seth ignored my plea to just go home) and explored the actual place a bit more.  It really was beautiful – despite the nocturnal happenings.

A visit to the horses – who were so calm.  Seth totally freaked out for nothing! I was not! I am just cautious when walking up to wild giant creatures.

On our walk around we also saw our old room…Realised the balcony was not so private!

Seth spent some time in the pool…  Being Seth and doing things I would never have done, but would maybe consider now – if the pool was heated. Ja right

More sunset and other random pictures…

I am pushing my stomach out on purpose in the picture below

The rest of the time was great and nothing unusual or scary happened again.  However when we went home and looked at the pictures we found this (the bottom pic is a zoomed in cutout):

How “Wrong Turn” is that!!! Do you see the freaky twins watching us? Are they joined by the shoulder? The freakiest thing is, we didn’t see any of these people when we took the picture.